As a dating and relationship coach I’m asked this question frequently, “Where can I meet single men?”
You’ve heard the statistics – women outnumber men three to one. When coaching clients bring this up, I often ask them, “How many men do you ultimately want?” This may sound a bit flip, but really – it’s the truth. You’re truly looking for one special man.
It may seem like the odds are against you, but I’d like to assure you I’ve coached men and women in their 70’s and 80’s who are now happily dating. So, yes – there are many places to meet single men. And many of these places are on your daily travels.
There’s a homework assignment I like to give new female coaching clients who feel discouraged about finding available single men. I invite you to try it.
Pay attention to how many men you actually see over the coming week. At this point, it doesn’t matter if the men are married or single, it’s just about noticing. This alone may begin to lift your spirits.
On the second week, pay attention to how many single men you see in your age group. You may be surprised. Think of it as similar to looking for a blue car. You never knew there were so many blue cars until you started looking for one.
Now that you’re aware of the single men, here’s your next task. Talk to them. I realize this might feel scary. The advice I give my coaching clients is first to smile at the man and see if he smiles back. Smiling makes everyone more relaxed.
Now that he’s smiled back, say something. A conversation starter can be as easy as mentioning something they’re wearing, such as “nice tie,” “great running shoes,” etc. Or ask about something they have, for example, “What do you like about your car?” (at the gas station) or “What do you like about that brand” (at the grocery store).
Getting out of the house is mandatory. Go to activities that interest you. And once you’re there, TALK to the men and women who are there. What’s the benefit of talking to other women? It will give you a chance to make more women friends who are doing new and interesting activities, and you’ll then have the chance to meet their “pool” of male and female friends.
The web site, www.meetup.com is invaluable! Put in your zip code and your interests and you’ll find more activities than you could fit into a month. Try something you’ve always wanted to do. Do something you’ve never thought about doing before. Just go.
I believe Internet dating has more positive aspects than negative as long as you have clear boundaries when you use it. The experience becomes even more enjoyable as you learn how to read a profile, trust your instincts, and perfect which questions to ask so you can learn more about your date.
So, if you’re ready to date I hope these suggestions are helpful. If you’re not quite ready, then let’s talk!
Visit Christine’s site at http://theperfectcatch.com