While sugar plums were dancing in my head last night, I also thought about shoes. Do shoes have an expiration date? For someone like me, the answer is “Never.”
When we were kids, shoes didn’t wear out, we outgrew them. The heels probably got worn down from scooting them. Remember taps? I’m not talking about taps for dancing, but the ones that were added to our heels to cut down on wear and tear. I liked the noise they made when I walked down a school hallway.
The expiration date for shoes today is an annoying phrase I hear all the time: That’s so 2011! Translation: These shoes, although only worn twice, have now gone out of style. My wife has a walk-in closet that I swear is just for shoes. She has nine pairs of what look to me like the same black shoes. Maybe the “black” on each pair is a bit different from the others to make it “just right” for certain outfits. She will not part with any of them so all these black shoes have not expired.
And how about men’s underwear? The expiration date of my underwear is when the elastic band gives out, not just a little, but all the way. When I take a short walk and my underwear is below my butt, I know it has reached its expiration date. ‘Nuff said.
Do you know that for most foods, a “sell by” date is different from a “use by” date? I saw a recent news feature about that on TV. The “use by” date is apparently seven days after “sell by.” But again, this doesn’t apply to Twinkies.